Body Image
Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes
Definition
A body image is the way a person sees, thinks, and feels about their body's appearance, size, shape, and how it compares to other bodies within its culture.
Explanation
Your body image is the way you perceive yourself, whether that be good or bad. Kink is very exposing, both literally and figuratively. When you go to a party, you will see people wearing next to nothing, or no clothing at all, and wonder how on earth they got up the nerve to do that. Some even seem entirely at ease.
Kink can make you feel extremely empowered when you realize people can, and often will, accept and find you beautiful as you are, and want to play with you. That people will still want to touch you, caress you, consensually hurt you, make you feel wonderful, even if you don’t find yourself to be the most attractive, or are even in the right body. People here can be more accepting than you have ever known, and that can help you love and accept yourself, too.
If you have body dysmorphia or higher insecurities, seeing all the beautiful photos people post can make you feel really poorly about yourself. Some photos are so beautiful and artistic that it can make you feel inadequate and not want to post your own. Rope can pull in parts of your body you wished weren’t seen. The look on your face as you play may not look as serene as someone else's.
What you don't see
When you are newer, you have no way to know how much effort has gone into some of those photos. Let’s say you see a photo of someone in a suspension. They are making a beautiful shape with their body in the air, fire is flying around them, the rope makes their body look perfect, and their face is at peace even with how much pain they have to be in. What you don’t see is the months of learning it took just to reach suspension, and the many more months the bottom spent practicing until their body could hold such a difficult position and endure the pain that comes with it. Add in the fire safety, knowledge, and equipment, as well as the photography skills, and there is much more than meets the eye. I can tell you that I personally take a buttload of photos, and usually just keep one.
Your mindset will make a major difference between which experience you get. Try not to be so hard on yourself when comparing yourself to others. There is usually more depth and effort put in than you will be able to know.
Homework
Write some affirmations for yourself when you are feeling low on your body image. Something unique for you that will hit home, bring your sense of logic back, remind yourself that you are beautiful, and how. This will not always work, but it can help. Sometimes you will need to wait and let it pass.
